I've just figured out that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm 46 years old and all of a sudden realized - I don't know what I want to do when I grow up! I've been doing medical transcription for nearly half my life and up until recently have really loved my job. But lately I've been asking myself, "Can I see myself doing this job in 5 years?" The answer is clearly 'NO'. I just feel like I'm not fulfilling my potential. But when I think about interests and passions regarding the direction I'd like to take in my life, I have
none. Zilch. Nothing. Dead inside.
Do I like the idea of working with people? I guess so, but not really. I certainly don't want to have to
touch them. I was reading a book about this very topic the other night, and there were different categories of jobs/careers listed. I was to check any that I might be interested in so that my "category" would be more defined. Guess how many I checked? One. Author. That was the ONLY job or career that caught my attention as something I'd like to do. Only one single thing. Photography? Nope. Social work? Nope. Secretary or receptionist? Been there, done that. Teacher? Not enough patience. Maybe when I was younger. Rancher? Too lazy and I'd have to wake up too early.
I mean, what else is there? I'm not good at working for myself - I would probably end up watching all my recorded episodes of Animal Planet's "Too Cute" because nothing interests me enough for motivation to leave the couch. What? I mean, what is wrong with me? How can this be? I used to be interested in so many things and just dove at the chance to go do something new and exciting! Now I am stagnant. Like Jabba the Hutt. Disgusting.
My plan is to just keep jostling and grunting my way out of being stuck in this most god-awful rut, hopefully being released from the grasp of certain death - of my spirit anyway. I wish I had just 1/100th of Justin Timberlake's talent. That would be awesome. I can't think of a girl version of Justin Timberlake...maybe Kristen Wiig? Julia Child didn't become a famous chef until she was 50, so I still have time. I don't need famous and I don't want to be a chef, but there's got to be a way for me to leave my mark on this world. I just don't want it to be like the mom on "What's Eating Gilbert Grape."
