July 7

Holy cow man...what a day.

I have no children. I have 4 cats. Yet somehow my life has become a daily ritual of Murphy's law. People who think my life is easy because I'm not a mom or married, I have news for you... my life should be a breeze but instead - well, no. I strive for an easy breezy life - I try not to get bogged down with responsibility, cooking, cleaning or whatever else I can try to let slide by. I am sort of like the kid in class who acts like they are busy thinking so they won't get called on by the teacher...

I have a part-time morning job and today it only consisted of a meeting that really just went over my head. Especially when a woman who has seriously magical powers of putting me to sleep almost instantaneously the minute she starts talking came into the meeting and sat right next to me. Uh oh. I told my friend later that I was going to record her at the next meeting so that when I have trouble sleeping, I can pop in a tape and - snap - out like a light. It'll save me from reading big books, like the bible.

This was made worse by the fact that allergies had attacked my eyes during the night, so they were a lovely shade of red with what felt like twigs sticking into them, and goobery. Terrible. I must've just looked frightening - so anyway, this all sounds boring but the best was yet to come. I had mentally planned to go home to a nice nap, maybe checking out the Michael Jackson memorial on TV...you know, the perfect life of a single woman with no major responsibilities.

Well, the nap never happened. I got home and did a few things around the apartment - nothing productive mind you - and went in to check out the memorial. Holy crap. I lost it when they wheeled in the casket and I was nonstop waterworks for the next 1-1/2 hours! Did THAT ever help my eyes look and feel better - oh 100%. I just don't know what hit me - the music, the stories - just when I thought nobody else could get me, here comes everybody up on the stage to sing "We Are The World"...oh man, are you trying to kill me here??? I was literally sobbing. Just keep that between us though, okey doke?

So, no nap, eyes on fire and now swollen shut from crying, a headache, and lo and behold it's time to get to work. Of course it's very busy - we have people out on vacation so it tends to spill over, so I try to stay focused. A few hours in, I realize - I am hungry. Off to the kitchen to try to find something somewhat healthy and decide on my Boca Burgers in the freezer, but I will add a slice of cheese to make them better. I also crammed some steamed green beans into the microwave - you know the kind that steam in the bag and turn out perfectly? Love those.

What I don't love is the electrical system of my apartment. It is old. Very old. I should've known...cook either the Boca burgers on the electric skillet OR steam the beans. Yep - fuse blows. Please insert the "F" word here pretty loudly. And then...dammit! Normally it's not that big of a deal - just get the flashlight and head downstairs to change the fuse, right? Nope. Not in the Murphy's law world that has become Shermie's new world. No spare fuses left. Also, none of the fuses are marked well, if at all, and that makes it a bit difficult to know which one needs to be changed - at least not to my untrained, red, itchy, goobery and now swollen shut eyes. Crap!!! So I run to the grocery store (yes they have fuses by the batteries and stuff) but of course I buy the wrong kind and being on the second floor is no favor to my obese BMI when trudging up and down the stairs to see if the fuse I had just changed was the "one" - and throughout all of this drama, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING!!! Well, the fuse that blew also took out the use of my landline phone and of course I haven't paid my cell phone bill in forever, so I can't use that. I trudge downstairs to my neighbors to borrow the phone. She is not in a good mood but she has teenage girls so I can understand that; plus I think she was hungover from the last bender. She hands me a cell phone and I trudge back upstairs. The emergency guy answers and asks what number can I be reached at? I hem and haw and then admit that I just don't know. Can I call him back? Back downstairs to Crabbier-than-Me-Even, who writes down the number for me. Eventually I talk to my landlord. Normally (due to the convenience of having people come fix stuff without it really costing me) I love renting and highly recommend it, but they can't get anyone out here until morning. You mean - I have to brush my teeth in the dark? Well, luckily I have a very strong familiarity with where my teeth are...but I'm more worried about having to move my alarm clock to the hallway outside my bedroom? Yikes - I have a dr. appt tomorrow (OB/GYN - lucky me! - more on that tomorrow...maybe.)

So currently I am finished with work, my eyes are blind, and I have to go fumble through the bathroom to get ready for bed, which I actually am looking forward to some sleep, and peace I hope. Some day I will tell you about my dream life though - it is very often more exciting than my awake life!

I know it doesn't seem like much to people who juggle work, cooking, family, errands, blah blah blah...but come on, I am striving for mundane here. I guess I can always hope for a dream about...well...sleep.

Sayonara - more tomorrow!