Okay, so I am working on my computer, but I was very excited to learn that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was on tonight. I made sure about 10 minutes before 7 that I turned my TV on the right channel so I wouldn’t miss a second of it.
Then I remembered. Other than the fond memories of being a kid and hurrying with my pillow and blanket to get as close to the TV as possible to watch it every year, I cannot stand this program. I have determined from years of watching this show as an adult that Santa and the majority of the reindeer, as well as most of the elves, are pricks. And when did Mrs. Santa Claus turn into an Italian or Jewish wife - EAT PAPA EAT! And talk about an unhealthy diet...what the hell is in that soup? She stands there and feeds him and he blows up like a balloon! Come to think of it, I think I had that soup the other day...
First of all, Rudolph’s dad…come on. I mean really? He threw Rudolph under the bus the minute he saw that his son was different. Clarisse is the only one with any sense, and Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist. And to that really mean elf in charge – Alfie - I mean, is it so horrible that Hermey has aspirations other than being an elf? Being an elf is not necessarily respectable “out there” in the world – but apparently being an elf makes you even lower on the scale than Rudolph in the North Pole. With Santa in charge, being an elf really bites at Santa’s Workshop. What’s with the singing of the song thing that they had to rehearse? They even have to entertain Santa, let alone make all the toys? Jeez, Santa.
So Santa sees Rudolph and immediately breaks into song about how HE is Santa or whatever, and cannot be bothered with a reindeer whose nose glows bright. By the way, the glowing wouldn’t be so bad, but why does it have to make that horrendous squealing noise too? Nobody ever mentions that. The coach, Comet, is the ultimate hated egotistical coach who makes the doughy kids cringe. Hateful jock prick.
I know I must seem to have quite a cynical view of this, but basically my problem with this whole program is that it’s not okay to be different until it comes in useful for somebody else (in this case SANTA the PRICK). Right down to the very last minute, when they thought they would have to cancel Christmas, Santa was still being an A-hole to Rudolph telling him to basically “shut his nose up” while he was trying to come up with an idea to be able to uphold his reputation… oh, wait, (can you say red lightbulb?) - we CAN USE that nose! So all of a sudden everyone loves Rudolph. Poor Rudolph – such a people pleaser. What happens if, once puberty ends or he hits his teens, the nose gives out? Will they shun him again when he can't help them out?
Santa plays it as the martyr because he wants to deliver the toys to the kids, but the truth is Santa wants to save his own fat ass. That’s the truth. I know in the end it all turns out okay, even with the toothless abominable snowman...poor guy...no more solids of any kind! I'd think there'd be a happy medium somewhere...
Now, with A Charlie Brown Christmas, that still holds a good message, at least in my Snoopy-loving opinion. I know that Lucy is an uptight, controlling biotch throughout, and everybody treats Charlie Brown like a pile of Christmas reindeer poo, but they don’t USE Charlie Brown at the end of the program like they do Rudolph. They come to realize the true meaning of Christmas, whatever that is…and help good ole Charlie Brown decorate his sad little tree (also adding lots of needles and branches)… and who can blame Charlie when he comes back after they've decorated and yells, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" He probably thought they had stomped his poor little tree, since that's the type of gang type behavior they had displayed earlier...
To me, as a kid, the main Christmas programs to catch were (not in any particular order): A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (before my enlightenment), Frosty the Snowman, and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The one with the Heat Miser is pretty good too. How about that Little Drummer Boy? Yikes! One year I invited a bunch of friends over for a party to watch Christmas programs (on VHS – the old days) and for some reason I only remember the part where the Little Drummer Boy’s sheep was able to walk again. Holy crap – the beginning of that is horrendous with the Al Qaeda people burning down the boy’s house and killing his parents! Jiminy crickets…I had to fast forward! No wonder that’s not seen on mainstream TV these days.
So I apologize to anyone whose favorite program I left off. Just for the record, I am strictly talking either cartoon or Claymation forms of entertainment though – not movies or real stuff.
Sure, most of them have excellent messages about Christmas not being about presents or commercial things…blah blah blah, but mostly they were just pure entertainment. It’s not the same anymore – now you have to search the cable stations to find who might be showing The Grinch (and now we have to make sure it’s not the MOVIE version for cripes sake), or to save the trouble, it can just be purchased on video. There is no longer the anticipation of knowing it was coming on (usually CBS – Channel 4) and they would run that Special Presentation thing before it would start – ohhh the excitement!!! It always sucked when it was over because you knew it would be a whole year before it would be back…
Ahhh, those were the days. I’m sure glad I was a kid when I got to experience those feelings of genuine excitement and high expectations. Please feel free to share any of your stories - I love to hear from you!
Then I remembered. Other than the fond memories of being a kid and hurrying with my pillow and blanket to get as close to the TV as possible to watch it every year, I cannot stand this program. I have determined from years of watching this show as an adult that Santa and the majority of the reindeer, as well as most of the elves, are pricks. And when did Mrs. Santa Claus turn into an Italian or Jewish wife - EAT PAPA EAT! And talk about an unhealthy diet...what the hell is in that soup? She stands there and feeds him and he blows up like a balloon! Come to think of it, I think I had that soup the other day...
First of all, Rudolph’s dad…come on. I mean really? He threw Rudolph under the bus the minute he saw that his son was different. Clarisse is the only one with any sense, and Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist. And to that really mean elf in charge – Alfie - I mean, is it so horrible that Hermey has aspirations other than being an elf? Being an elf is not necessarily respectable “out there” in the world – but apparently being an elf makes you even lower on the scale than Rudolph in the North Pole. With Santa in charge, being an elf really bites at Santa’s Workshop. What’s with the singing of the song thing that they had to rehearse? They even have to entertain Santa, let alone make all the toys? Jeez, Santa.
So Santa sees Rudolph and immediately breaks into song about how HE is Santa or whatever, and cannot be bothered with a reindeer whose nose glows bright. By the way, the glowing wouldn’t be so bad, but why does it have to make that horrendous squealing noise too? Nobody ever mentions that. The coach, Comet, is the ultimate hated egotistical coach who makes the doughy kids cringe. Hateful jock prick.
I know I must seem to have quite a cynical view of this, but basically my problem with this whole program is that it’s not okay to be different until it comes in useful for somebody else (in this case SANTA the PRICK). Right down to the very last minute, when they thought they would have to cancel Christmas, Santa was still being an A-hole to Rudolph telling him to basically “shut his nose up” while he was trying to come up with an idea to be able to uphold his reputation… oh, wait, (can you say red lightbulb?) - we CAN USE that nose! So all of a sudden everyone loves Rudolph. Poor Rudolph – such a people pleaser. What happens if, once puberty ends or he hits his teens, the nose gives out? Will they shun him again when he can't help them out?
Santa plays it as the martyr because he wants to deliver the toys to the kids, but the truth is Santa wants to save his own fat ass. That’s the truth. I know in the end it all turns out okay, even with the toothless abominable snowman...poor guy...no more solids of any kind! I'd think there'd be a happy medium somewhere...
Now, with A Charlie Brown Christmas, that still holds a good message, at least in my Snoopy-loving opinion. I know that Lucy is an uptight, controlling biotch throughout, and everybody treats Charlie Brown like a pile of Christmas reindeer poo, but they don’t USE Charlie Brown at the end of the program like they do Rudolph. They come to realize the true meaning of Christmas, whatever that is…and help good ole Charlie Brown decorate his sad little tree (also adding lots of needles and branches)… and who can blame Charlie when he comes back after they've decorated and yells, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" He probably thought they had stomped his poor little tree, since that's the type of gang type behavior they had displayed earlier...
To me, as a kid, the main Christmas programs to catch were (not in any particular order): A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (before my enlightenment), Frosty the Snowman, and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The one with the Heat Miser is pretty good too. How about that Little Drummer Boy? Yikes! One year I invited a bunch of friends over for a party to watch Christmas programs (on VHS – the old days) and for some reason I only remember the part where the Little Drummer Boy’s sheep was able to walk again. Holy crap – the beginning of that is horrendous with the Al Qaeda people burning down the boy’s house and killing his parents! Jiminy crickets…I had to fast forward! No wonder that’s not seen on mainstream TV these days.
So I apologize to anyone whose favorite program I left off. Just for the record, I am strictly talking either cartoon or Claymation forms of entertainment though – not movies or real stuff.
Sure, most of them have excellent messages about Christmas not being about presents or commercial things…blah blah blah, but mostly they were just pure entertainment. It’s not the same anymore – now you have to search the cable stations to find who might be showing The Grinch (and now we have to make sure it’s not the MOVIE version for cripes sake), or to save the trouble, it can just be purchased on video. There is no longer the anticipation of knowing it was coming on (usually CBS – Channel 4) and they would run that Special Presentation thing before it would start – ohhh the excitement!!! It always sucked when it was over because you knew it would be a whole year before it would be back…
Ahhh, those were the days. I’m sure glad I was a kid when I got to experience those feelings of genuine excitement and high expectations. Please feel free to share any of your stories - I love to hear from you!
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