Holy cow...already January 4. So far not much has changed in the new year, but I guess 4 days does not a lifetime make. So things will pick up. Definitely once this friggin' cold snap passes, although I do love the cold! I believe my retirement years will be spent up in Michigan somewhere, preferably with a good view of a lake and a nice fireplace. And a leopard pattern Snuggie.
So, here we go with the next question/post topic. Ummm...let me get my handy dandy book and read what's next. This should let you know I don't give much pre-thought to what I am going to say since I haven't even opened the book yet today. Right now Mabel is ripping and tearing again throughout the apartment, doing the cartoon-cat thing where she spins here wheels and does the Starsky and Hutch slide, starting in one direction and ending up at a 180 degree turn facing the opposite direction. She is SO cool!!! Taz is being intimidating to my super-dramatic baby Oscar (he's 12 and a mama's boy all the way around). He's been with me through a lot of stuff - moving all over the country, falling off balconies and out 2nd story windows (him, not me), and a couple of breakups with boyfriends (me, not him)...what a pal. He's pretty cool too. I'll talk more about him some other time.
Now, on to the topic. It says something about not following through even though I thought I was very capable of doing whatever that might have been. Hmm. By the way, I am doing question #10 today since I skipped it and apparently went right to #20 yesterday. I guess this is going to turn into just a random guessing game!
So, yeah, sure...in high school I wanted to try out for the hockey cheerleading squad. I had zero self-confidence though, so I was a complete chicken. Of course in 6th grade I thought I could play clarinet and then they were going to put me back with the 5th graders because I apparently sucked at the clarinet, so that knocked me down a notch when I couldn't really afford to be knocked down even half-a-notch. So I quit that. I really only wanted to play in the band so I could get out of the last part of class on certain days anyway, so there. But I thought I was pretty decent and found out that was not the case. The high school hockey cheerleading thing was different though. I practiced a lot even though I didn't really know what I was doing. I wasn't a slim girl, but come on, it's HOCKEY! It's cold...even a cheerleader should have some meat on her bones to keep her warm under the bulky sweater! But I never made it that far because I basically talked myself out of it before it ever really got going. It's not a major decision that I regret every day of my life, but it could've changed the course of my life. I might have developed my self-confidence a little earlier, or I might not have made it and it could've turned me into a bitter person before my 20s, let alone my 30s.
Speaking of high school, I didn't really ever fit in where I went to school. That's a long story though, one I am saving for my "book" that hopefully will be finished some time this year. Anywho, one thing I remember is a girl who befriended me when I really needed it. She was a bit of an odd duck, and by that I mean that when I think back and remember her, I could swear she was at least 25 or 30 years old. I know she was totally into The Rocky Horror Picture Show and went every weekend when they used to show it at the Tivoli at midnight or whatever. One day she brought to school with her an anatomically correct Franken Furter (sp?) doll, which I thought was a little weird, but I respected her passion for the stuff. She was very tall - probably 6 feet tall, had long blonde hair and acne, and sort of a deep voice. I can't think of her name right now, but she was cool to know.
So this is what journaling is you guys - you start out talking about something you maybe didn't have the courage to do but know you had the capabilities, and you end up thinking about an obscure person in your life who obviously was more important to you than you realized. The mind is a cool and freaky maze of memories from the past, ideas for the future, and hopefully you have the presence of mind to appreciate what's happening in the moment.
Well I guess that's the scoop for today! Be sure to share any of your thoughts, memories, plans or just present day appreciations with me - I would love to hear from you!
Take it easy all - we'll chat more tomorrow!
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